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ISSUE #292 - 11-Jan-2009


Here are the new Things To Think About that have been contributed since the last update:

Do the ants in the bathroom ever sleep or do they crawl around the sinks all night?

Do the same crickets talk all night or do they take turns?

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

Is it true that we will never run out of Math Teachers because they keep multiplying?

How long does a life membership last?

How come what's best is best?

When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?

Money can't buy happiness, right? But somehow isn't it more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo?

Won't the credit crunch help you get back on your feet? Especially after your car's been repossessed, right?

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

Why is it that hamburgers should be eaten well done, but steaks are perfectly safe rare?

Is it an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British Queen's image upside-down?

Is it illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing?

Do you really want to shop at health food shops that have a sign in the window that reads 'Closed due to illness'?

When a pregnant lady has twins, are there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?

Why is it "refrigerator" without a 'd', but "fridge" with a 'd'?

Isn't writing with a broken pencil pointless?

Is a flashlight just a case for holding dead batteries?

Are dead batteries given away free of charge?

Do they hire crickets to sit inside those smoke alarms and start chirping when the batteries run down?

Should thieves who steal corn from a garden be charged with stalking?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

Would a good time to keep your mouth shut be when you're in deep water?

A question by any other name would be mislabelled, wouldn't it?

Why do more people use blue toothbrushes than red ones?

Money will buy a fine dog, right? But isn't it only kindness that will make them wag their tail?

Should we never be afraid to try something new? Wasn't it a lone amateur that built the Ark? And a large group of professionals that built the Titanic?

Is there anyone who has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car?

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Men are like a fine wine, aren't they? Don't they start out as grapes and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with?

If a husband dies, the wife is called a widow and if a child's parents die, the child is called an orphan, right? So why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?

If you don't have a sense of humour, would you really have any sense at all?

Isn't it true that when the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.?

Why do deer hunters have to buy a license? Don't drivers kill more deer than hunters do? And drivers don't have to buy a hunting license, do they?

Why isn't the caps lock capitalized?

Isn't the nicest thing about the future that fact that it always starts tomorrow?

Is it true that you can't play cards on an ocean liner because the captain keeps standing on the deck?

Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?

A Gadzillion Thanks to the following Thinkers who have shared their thoughts so that we may think of them too:
D.G., Don F., F.H.S., F.S.Q., Gary Bogue, I.W., J.H., Madd, Megan H.,
Nelson, Shannon, T.C., and Will

Take Care and Keep Thinking,
Don Fowler, A Gadzillion Things To Think About
Send Contributions to: dcfowler@interbaun.com