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Last Updated on 15-Nov-2017
Category: Places

Topic: Hospitals

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    1. Shouldn't the only people in hospital whose conditions ought to be described as stable be those in the mortuary? (Contributed by Tim Main)
    2. On the wall in the emergency entrance of a US hospital hangs a sign that reads 'If you do not speak english an interpreter will be provided'. Just who is this sign for? (Contributed by silber)
    3. Why does a maternity ward in a Florida hospital have a sign that reads No children allowed? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. To save money should hospitals hire hypnotists to make patients think they've had their operations? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    5. In a hospital why do they wake you up to give you a sleeping tablet? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    6. In hospitals why does nobody leave when they announce over the intercom that visiting hours are over? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    7. If you don't know your blood type when you need a blood transfusion they use Type O blood. Does it make you feel secure knowing that your life may depend on hospitals finding typeos? (Contributed by Don F.)
    8. Isn't it marvelous how hospital food can be made to look almost real? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    9. Hospitals would like us to believe that they are known for their 'TLC'. Why do we assume they are referring to 'Tender Loving Care'? Don't you think they actually mean 'Take Lottsa Cash'? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    10. Just what is it that we have to admit to when we check into a hospital? Otherwise they wouldn't have those 'Admitting Desks' now, would they? (Contributed by Don F.)
    11. How come the patient furthest away from the nurse's station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurse's station? (Contributed by Mr. FBI)
    12. How come each cubical in hospital emergency areas have a blood pressure tester hanging on the wall by the bed, yet every nurse that comes and tests your blood pressure, always brings their own? (Contributed by Don F.)
    13. How come in most hospital rooms they have a sign posted that reads 'Do not leave valuables in room'? If you consider yourself valuable (as you should), what do they expect you to do? (Contributed by Don F.)
    14. Is the reason you don't receive hospitality in some hospitals because they are always out of it, like they are out of EVERYTHING? (Contributed by Valerie)
    15. If you work in a hospital, can you call in sick? (Contributed by Jim)
    16. Why are hospital beds more comfortable at home? (Contributed by John)
    17. Why do they have television sets in hospital rooms if television is so bad for you? (Contributed by Caitlin)
    18. How come the TV's in Hospital Wards are always in the furthest corner of the room and they don't give you a Remote? How do you change stations if for some reason you can't walk? Do you have to ring the "buzzer" for a Nurse to come and change it each time? Are they too lazy to put the TVs on trollies or something? (Contributed by Maltait)
    19. Why would you visit a medical practice? Wouldn't it better to find someone who already knows what they're doing? (Contributed by SportsFan)
    20. When going for a CT Scan at the hospital, why do we exit the hospital faster than when we went in? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    21. What exactly do they mean at a drug rehab center with the sign on the lawn that reads 'Keep off the Grass’? (Contributed by Don F.)
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Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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