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Last Updated on 15-Nov-2017
Category: People

Topic: Spouse

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    1. Why is it that the only time your spouse will listen and pay strict attention to every word you say is when you talk in your sleep? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Is it true that wives lead two lives -- their's and their husband's? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Could one of the reasons we have spouses be because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can't blame on the government? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)
    4. Is a structured conversation between a husband and wife where she gives her opinion and then she gives his opinion? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)
    5. Why are husbands only able to cook one specific meal when friends and relatives visit? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    6. If a man talks in his sleep but still does not divulge any hot information for his wife is this a case of mind over mutter? (Contributed by Early J.)
    7. Why do men buy encylopedias when their wives know everything? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    8. Isn't it true that the man who says his wife can't take a joke forgets that she took him? (Contributed by Jim Poserina)
    9. Why is it that a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife? (Contributed by Jim Poserina)
    10. Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? Afterall there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right? (Contributed by Sinnful)
    11. When husbands take out the trash why do they give the impression that they just cleaned the whole house? (Contributed by Jerry Fogler)
    12. Should you ever argue with your wife? After all if you won then you'd really be in trouble wouldn't you? (Contributed by Neil Rigby)
    13. Isn't the part of a woman's work that never gets done the stuff she asked her husband to do? (Contributed by JokeMeister)
    14. Don't you think that any husband who tells us that his wife and him are completely equal partners is either talking about a law firm or a hand of bridge? (Contributed by Bill Cosby)
    15. Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women? (Contributed by The Limey)
    16. Why does a woman work for years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? (Contributed by Barbara S.)
    17. How come when I go to bed my wife is sound asleep with the TV blaring yet when I lie down next to her and turn the volume down to watch the rest of the game in bed she wakes up and tells me the TV is keeping her awake? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    18. If his money is her money and her money is her money and his bills are his bills and her bills are his bills then how does he pay for all his debt? (Contributed by The Cadman)
    19. How come husbands always seem to remember anniversaries the day after they occur? (Contributed by Don F.)
    20. If at first you don't succeed shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to? (Contributed by Bill Edwards)
    21. Isn't a spouse a person who sticks with you through troubles you wouldn't have had if you hadn't married them in the first place? (Contributed by ReliefStreetNews)
    22. Shouldn't women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? (Contributed by Don Chisholm)
    23. Are you getting too old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along? (Contributed by Joe)
    24. Is it true that you can keep your husband from reading your emails by renaming your mail folder to 'Instruction Manuals'? (Contributed by Terry Galan)
    25. How come the gifts you buy your spouse are never as good as the gifts your neighbours buy their spouses? (Contributed by Funny Bone)
    26. How come the husbands of the ten best dressed women are never on the list of the ten best dressed men? (Contributed by Terry Galan)
    27. Isn't it a happy marriage when he doesn't try to run her life and he doesn't try to run his own? (Contributed by WizardKev)
    28. Isn't it a happy marriage when she does what she wants and he does what she wants? (Contributed by WizardKev)
    29. Why is it that when your wife gets into bed, the temperature of her feet immediately drops 10 degrees? (Contributed by J. Branter)
    30. If 80 percent of spouses cheat in America, do the rest cheat in Europe? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
    31. Does anybody else find it ironic that people often separate because they don't spend enough time together? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    32. Isn't being a husband just like any other job, in that it helps a lot if you like the boss? (Contributed by Coop)
    33. Isn't it amazing that you can do an unbelievable amount of work in the yard when your wife puts your mind to it? (Contributed by FMC)
    34. Since I married my wife for her looks, why am I not happy with the ones she's been giving me lately? (Contributed by Urbanest)
    35. Why are the happiest marriages the ones where the couples have separate bathrooms? (Contributed by m.blueberry)
    36. Do you ever wonder what you future spouse is doing right now? (Contributed by Kayla)
    37. Would the key to a long marriage be to have a dog to blame farts on? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    38. If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? (Contributed by George)
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Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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