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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: People

Topic: Seniors

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    1. What's the difference between a pioneer and an illegal alien? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why do old women dye their hair blue? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. How old do you have to be before you can't cut the mustard? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why and how did your grandparents walk uphill both ways through 32 feet of snow to get to school? (Contributed by Don F.)
    6. Why do they call it retirement when you're so much busier? (Contributed by Don F.)
    7. If only the good die young then what does that say about senior citizens? (Contributed by Allen K.)
    8. Why does it seem that old age is always fifteen years older than you are at the present time? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    9. How does a Nun retire? Does she instantly not believe at sixty-five and start partying? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    10. If you're not tired how can you be retired? (Contributed by W.J. Newhart)
    11. What is the difference between retired and unemployed? (Contributed by W.J. Newhart)
    12. If women over fifty had babies do you think they would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them? (Contributed by Kay Bradley)
    13. Why do older people always tell us that they were born at a very early age? Weren't we all the same age when we were born? (Contributed by M. Waters)
    14. Why do they say you're never too old to learn if you can't teach an old dog new tricks? (Contributed by Leian)
    15. Isn't it only natural that a person becomes quieter as they grow older? Afterall don't they have a lot more to keep quiet about? (Contributed by Ha!)
    16. Isn't it true that you know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there? (Contributed by LdyChrista)
    17. Don't you think you're getting old when your knees buckle and your belt won't? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    18. Why is it that the older you get the better you realize you were? (Contributed by Funny Bone)
    19. Why is it that older people are younger today than older people were when we were young? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    20. We all know that old age is inevitable, but do you wonder sometimes if growing up is optional? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    21. If its true that life begins at fifty, why does everything else start to wear out, fall out, or spread out? (Contributed by Joe)
    22. How come that by the time we are wise enough to watch our step, we're too old to go anywhere? (Contributed by Joe)
    23. Isn't it hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything? (Contributed by Joe)
    24. When the elders start off with 'When I was your age', doesn't it always seem that by the time they finish their story, you probably will be their age? (Contributed by Lisa Hall)
    25. Is it true that you know you're getting older when your back goes out more often than you do? (Contributed by Brenda)
    26. How come everything takes longer than you think, except growing old? (Contributed by Mike Bellah)
    27. How come some people age prematurely, while the rest of us get old right on schedule? (Contributed by Mike Bellah)
    28. After you've been retired for a couple of years, do you ever wonder how you ever found the time to work? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    29. Sure, beautiful young people are incidents of nature, but aren't beautiful old people works of art? (Contributed by FunTrivia)
    30. How come my wild oats have turned to shredded wheat? (Contributed by JoLene)
    31. Why do they give gold watches as retirement gifts when it's the first time in your life when you don't care what time it is? Shouldn't they give you that watch when you start to work so you're not late? (Contributed by Mike Snider)
    32. Do people really start to forget things more when they get older? Or do they just forget that they never could remember things when they were younger? (Contributed by M.B.)
    33. Isn't it better to retire one year too early rather than one year too late? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    34. Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened? (Contributed by Mike)
    35. How come being referred to as a Senior isn't nearly as much fun as it was in high school? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    36. Are you getting old when you notice that your first name is being given to babies again? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    37. Is the reason a lot of seniors are smiling all the time because they can't hear a word you're saying? (Contributed by Coop)
    38. Do seniors think they are making adults much younger these days? (Contributed by Coop)
    39. Why do seniors always try and give the exact change? (Contributed by Hemail)
    40. How come when you get older the only new words you learn are those ending in ectomy, oscopy, or itis? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    41. Why do seniors always tell us that after they hit 40 they went downhill? How is that possible? Don't they always walk uphill, both ways, and in 6 feet of snow? (Contributed by Claire B.)
    42. Why are senior citizens never blamed for vandalizm? What makes people think it is always teenagers? (Contributed by Nicholas)
    43. Isn't it true that as we get older we spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter? You know, we go somewhere to get something and then we wonder what it was that we were hereafter? (Contributed by Roberta)
    44. Why do older people say 'When I was your age we didn't treat our elders that way'? When they were younger, people didn't live to be elderly, did they? (Contributed by Michael)
    45. Isn't the worst part of getting old, having to watch three generations make the very same mistakes? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    46. Would the advantage of a bad memory be that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time? (Contributed by Friedrich Nietzche)
    47. Why do your grandparents say that you've grown up a lot since they last seen you when they just saw you a few days earlier? (Contributed by Dani A and Sam U)
    48. How come the older we get, fewer things seem worth waiting in line for? (Contributed by Will)
    49. When we are young, we want to be the master of our fate and the captain of our soul, right? So how come when we are older, we settle for being the master of our weight and the captain of our bowling team? (Contributed by W.W.)
    50. About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age, isn't it? (Contributed by Gloria Pitzer)
    51. If Youth is a gift of nature would Age be a work of art? (Contributed by Steve)
    52. The older you get, the more you know, right? But how come the older you get, the less you remember? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    53. There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens? (Contributed by Hal E.)
    54. Is it a sign that you're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster? (Contributed by Peter)
    55. Has the man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 wasted 30 years of his life? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    56. Isn't age strictly a case of mind over matter? If you don't mind, it doesn't matter, right? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    57. When you have your 60th birthday, arenít you just 21 with 39 years experience? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    58. When you are over the hill donít you pick up speed? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    59. How old does a senior have to be to get a discount for their pet? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    60. We should respect old people shouldnít we? After all, didnít they graduate high school without Google or Wikipedia? (Contributed by Connie)
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dcfowler@interbaun.com

Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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