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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: People

Topic: Children

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    1. Do you agree that cleaning up while children are around is like clearing the driveway before it stops snowing? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why do we tell our kids to not talk to strangers but also to be sociable and make new friends? Isn't this counter productive? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why do mothers always say that their child cannot play until their room is clean? What will the room look like after the child plays? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Did you ever wonder whether having children is hereditary? After all if your parents didn't have any then you probably won't either! (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why is it that children seldom misquote you? In fact they usually repeat word by word what you shouldn't have said. (Contributed by Don F.)
    6. Why is it that in a modern household the only things we have to wash by hand are children? (Contributed by Don F.)
    7. If yuppie people can have ghetto children why can't ghetto people have yuppie children? (Contributed by Don F.)
    8. Why is it that if you want to get something done you can either do it yourself hire someone to do it or forbid your kids to do it? (Contributed by Don F.)
    9. Why not put missing children on postage stamps? (Contributed by Don F.)
    10. Why do children have more energy after a hard day of play than they do after a good night's sleep? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    11. Why do children only do the new things they've learned for us but never for other people to whom you have just boasted? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    12. How come we as children will fight tooth and nail not to have a nap only to find ourselves as adults wishing with all of our hearts that we could? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    13. Wouldn't it be nice if our children remained enthusiastic about school past the first grade? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    14. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to forgive each other as quickly and effortlessly as children forgive each other? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    15. Why is it that your child will firmly believe that everything that happens within a five mile radius of him is his fault (e.g. mom and dad's divorce) except when he actually is at fault? (e.g. Who put his sister's favorite barbie in the toilet?) (Contributed by Pat F.)
    16. Why is it that children stop wanting to help with house work when they're actually old enough to do it themselves? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    17. Why is it that according to your mother-in-law your child looks like everyone in your husband's family and no one in yours not even you? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    18. Why is it that the child is yours when they are behaving and mine when they are misbehaving? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    19. Why do parents tell their children not to go into that room because they just cleaned it? Where are they suppose to go? Are they suppose to sit in a dirty room? (Contributed by Loretta L.)
    20. If a clown had a child and it started messing around would he be able to tell the child to stop clowning around? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    21. If you teach children to be polite and courteous when they grow up will they ever be able to get their cars onto the freeway? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    22. Kids used to ask where they came from. Why is it that now they tell you where to go? (Contributed by Jason Q)
    23. Is mealtime just an event where the kids can sit down to continue eating? (Contributed by A. Black)
    24. Why is it that when dealing with a five-year-old in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old? (Contributed by Jean Kerr)
    25. Isn't shouting to make your children obey just like using the horn to steer your car? You get the same results don't you? (Contributed by Kay Bradley)
    26. Why is it that adorable children are considered to be the general property of the human race but rude children always belong to their mother? (Contributed by Judith Martin)
    27. Why is it that we tell our children not to talk to or accept candy from strangers 364 days of the year yet take them to the mall to sit on a strangers lap and get a candy cane? (Contributed by Kevin Houghton)
    28. Why is it that when a child is making all of the noise in the world we know their okay? But when they are quiet we just know they are causing trouble? (Contributed by Kelsey Bacon)
    29. Why is it that a child will eat anything the grocery store 'taste lady' is handing out but never touch it on the dinner table at home? (Contributed by Sue Doyle)
    30. Why is it that a child greets company by immediately pointing out the one thing that you were trying to hide? (Contributed by Sue Doyle)
    31. How do children learn to spell 's-n-a-c-k' and 's-t-o-r-e' first? (Contributed by Sue Doyle)
    32. Why do kids insist on telling you something that you already know? Any why do they try to make you laugh when they don't know what they're talking about? (Contributed by Ashley Brown)
    33. Isn't it true that if you ever have trouble getting your childrens' attention all you have to do is to sit down and look comfortable? (Contributed by Bill Edwards)
    34. Wouldn't the best way to keep your kids out of hot water be to put some dishes in it? (Contributed by Rodney & Cathy's Joke List)
    35. Wouldn't the best time to tackle a minor problem be before he grows up? (Contributed by Ray Freedman)
    36. How old does a kid have to be before you stop giving their age in half-years? (Contributed by Mark Bakke)
    37. How come a child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to their ability to actually do the work involved? (Contributed by dcoble)
    38. How come the only two things a child will share willingly are communicable diseases and their mother's age? (Contributed by Bill Stebbins)
    39. Isn't trying to dress an active little one a lot like trying to thread a sewing machine while it is running? (Contributed by Bill Stebbins)
    40. Aren't the people who are the hardest to convince they're at the retirement age, young children at bedtime? (Contributed by Terry Galan)
    41. Isn't there only one pretty child in the world? And isn't that the one that every parent has? (Contributed by Charlie Giggle)
    42. Isn't the main purpose of holding children's parties just to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own? (Contributed by Charlie Giggle)
    43. How come, after you childproof your home, they still get in? (Contributed by Charlie Giggle)
    44. If you love to receive homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want? (Contributed by Charlie Giggle)
    45. Aren't children the only true connoisseurs? After all, what's precious to them has no price, only value, right? (Contributed by Bill)
    46. If you want to be in your children's memories tomorrow, won't you have to be in their lives today? (Contributed by JoLene)
    47. It's true that you can learn many things from children, right? Would one of them be how much patience you have? (Contributed by Frank Adams)
    48. How come a child's behavior always improves in proportion to the distance they are away from their parents? (Contributed by FBI)
    49. How come a child's enjoyment of a popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment? (Contributed by FBI)
    50. How can you GROUND a child when they are bad? (Contributed by Valerie)
    51. Can you consider your children grown up when they start asking questions that have answers? (Contributed by John Plomp)
    52. If kids are called 'minors' then why aren't adults called 'majors'? (Contributed by Smee)
    53. If children are a gift from God, do you wonder what His return policy is? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    54. Why is it that by the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong? (Contributed by Charles Wadsworth)
    55. Arenít grandchildren such a bargain? You give them your loose change, and they give you a million dollars worth of pleasure, right? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    56. Are grandchildren God's rewards for not killing your own children? (Contributed by C.U.)
    57. Isnít the best revenge living long enough to be a problem to your children? (Contributed by Don F.)
    58. Isnít it kind of sad that you have to make kids go out and play? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    59. Sometimes, isnít the only way to stop the whining is to give in and hand a 2-year-old a cookie? (Contributed by Charleston Gazette Vent)
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Send to Don Fowler
dcfowler@interbaun.com

Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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