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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Occupations

Topic: Research

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    1. Why is it if you steal from one resource it's called plagiarism but if you steal from two it's called research? (Contributed by Kouly)
    2. When you don't know what you're doing is what you're doing called research? (Contributed by Wernher Von Braun)
    3. Do molecular biologists wear designer genes? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Why is it that to most people solutions mean finding the answers but to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why do statisticians like other occult techniques of divination have a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from non-practitioners? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    6. Is the reason Researchers want to stop animal testing because they get all nervous and give the wrong answers? (Contributed by Bill King)
    7. If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four legged chicken with it's own barcode? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    8. Why is it that facts always keep interfering with our theories? (Contributed by J.J.)
    9. Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? (Contributed by Glen G.)
    10. Who buries all the stuff that archeologists dig up? (Contributed by Oliver Smith)
    11. Are meteorologists always nervous because their future is always up in the air? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    12. Why is the occupation called Animal Husbandry? Why not Animal Wifery? (Contributed by Harpreet Khurana)
    13. Should scientists be allowed to exceed phenomenolical results and trespass with their own inadequate conclusions and opinions in areas where the explanation of either future result or ultimate cause is beyond the reach of their experimental means? (Contributed by Big 'S' Roofing)
    14. Is an Economist someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an Accountant? (Contributed by mabu)
    15. If scientific researchers can find tiny organisms why can't they pick out clothes that match? (Contributed by UFC Physics)
    16. Researchers are very concerned about why women outlive men. If it was the other way around would they even care? (Contributed by Bill Edwards)
    17. Why do scientists spend all their lives trying to figure out how our universe began? Shouldn't they be figuring out where it's going? (Contributed by Warren Robicheaux)
    18. Have you ever wondered why 'Social Scientists' don't study 'Social Diseases'? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    19. If God was a Japanese auto designer would an Elephant be a Mouse? (Contributed by Neil Enns)
    20. How do you evangelize to scientists? (Contributed by bts3910)
    21. If you're doing what you don't know what you're doing, would you be doing research? (Contributed by Wernher Von Braun)
    22. Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined them up end-to-end, they'd still point in the wrong direction? (Contributed by HumorDigest)
    23. Could there be a gene that causes belief in genetic determinism? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
    24. Aren't all results, no matter how magnificent, infintesimal when compared to future possibilities? (Contributed by James A. Ray)
    25. Is a Russian astrophysicist called a cosmophysicist? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    26. Research has shown that the ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight, and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. Did our government pay for this research? And if so, why? (Contributed by S. Sharp)
    27. Don't you hate it when somebody invents something that you've already thought of but did nothing about? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    28. Since margarine is one molecule away from being plastic, was it invented by a chemist? If so, what may them spread it on some bread and eat it? Were they insane or just so close to starving to death that it didn't matter? (Contributed by Bruce B in Idaho)
    29. What percent of all children grow up to be statisticians? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    30. How do they know humans have between 9,000 and 10,000 taste buds? Does someone go into the mouth and count them? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    31. Why do breakthroughs always seem to follow breakdowns? (Contributed by Sammie)
    32. Are Genealogists dying to stop at cemeteries? (Contributed by Denise)
    33. Isnít originality just undetected plagiarism? (Contributed by Don F.)
    34. Isnít the depth of assessment of a problem always dependent on the calibration of the mind assessing it? (Contributed by Sheshadri)
    35. Is there any problem so formidable that you canít just walk away from it? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    36. Canít a good solution be successfully applied to almost any problem? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    37. Should we always assume that our assumption is invalid? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    38. Wouldnít the simplest explanation be that it just doesnít make sense? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    39. When chemists die, do they barium? (Contributed by Pat F.)
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