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Last Updated on 15-Nov-2017
Category: Occupations

Topic: Legal

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    1. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning and you could only save one of them would you go to lunch or read the paper? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why do they call themselves Attorneys at Law? What other kind are there? Attorneys at Painting...Attorneys at Garbage Collecting. (Contributed by BoogieMan)
    3. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted musicians denoted cowboys deranged models deposed tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed? (Contributed by Neil Plaff)
    4. If Lawyers have their hands in their own pockets does it mean it is really really REALLY cold outside? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    5. Is a criminal attorney another example of truth in advertising? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    6. If there are legal secretaries where are the illegal secretaries? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    7. If law school is so hard to get through how come there are so many lawyers? (Contributed by Calvin Trillin)
    8. Do you think bankrupcy lawyers should expect to be paid? And if so by whom? (Contributed by Mark Farell)
    9. Why do we always pick on Lawyers when it's really the Insurance people who are to blame? (Contributed by Don F.)
    10. Is it just the 99 percent of lawyers that give the rest a bad name? (Contributed by Dee)
    11. If it's true that the meek shall inherit the Earth should they get a really good probate attorney? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    12. Is the best reason for getting rid of crime the fact that we will then get rid of all lawyers as well? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    13. Why is it okay if a lawyer exposes his briefs but if we do it we get arrested for indecent exposure? (Contributed by Erin King)
    14. Why do we expect lawyers to have integrity? Afterall isn't the first thing they do when they get their law degree be to have it 'framed'? (Contributed by Don F.)
    15. Where do vampires learn to suck blood? Law School? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    16. If lawyers just practice law today, as they have in the past, when are they going to get down to doing the real thing? (Contributed by Pat Walter)
    17. Aren’t lawyers just people who prevent somebody else from getting your money? (Contributed by JoLene)
    18. Is it true that the only place you can find a good lawyer is in the cemetery? (Contributed by Neil Enns)
    19. Is it true that when lawyers sleep, first they lie on one side and then they lie on the other? (Contributed by Mickey & Karen)
    20. Since law firms bill by the hour, aren't they more profitable when they are less efficient? (Contributed by Floyd Maxwell)
    21. Why, on some commercials for law firms, do they state that they are not certified? Don't law firms have to be certified in order to practice? (Contributed by Valerie)
    22. If a lawyer fails to repay his/her student loan, who garnishes THEIR wages? (Contributed by Christopher A. Thurman)
    23. Is it really a good idea for law firms to advertise that ‘justice is not automatic’? Doesn't that imply that they don't win a lot of cases? And why would I want to use a law firm that doesn't win a lot of cases? (Contributed by Valerie)
    24. If human lawyers are sometimes called sharks, what do sharks call THEIR lawyers? (Contributed by David G. Uffelman)
    25. Do attorneys wear civil suits? (Contributed by Joe)
    26. How many lawyers are there named Sue? (Contributed by Jason)
    27. Why do we get sued for accidents? Shouldn't we only be sued for on-purposes? (Contributed by Sammie)
    28. Why are American lawyers the only people with a doctorate who don't call themselves "Dr."? (Contributed by Zagros)
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