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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Household

Topic: Shopping

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    1. Why is it that when you carry in your grocery bags and you drop one of them on the floor its ALWAYS the one with the eggs in it? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why is it that the other line moves faster? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why do grocery stores give preferential express service at the checkout tills to people named Les? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Why do you only slip and fall when carrying fragile things? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. Why does 10 pounds of groceries generate 50 pounds of garbage? (Contributed by Don F.)
    6. Why is it that whenever there are groceries to be unloaded from the car everyone else has to go to the bathroom? (Contributed by Erma Bombeck)
    7. When standing in a long lineup why do we feel so much better when somebody comes and stands behind us? (Contributed by Lily T.)
    8. When you have two items to carry why is the largest one always the lightest? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    9. When you find yourself convinced that the world is moving too fast should you just find a supermarket line to reassure yourself that it isn't? (Contributed by Chet Meek)
    10. If the shortest distance between two points is a line why does waiting in a line take so long? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    11. Why do women have to try everything on when they shop? (Contributed by jthenhaur)
    12. Why do they make grocery carts with one wheel running cockeyed to the other three? (Contributed by Gregory Lam)
    13. Why is it that a man will pay two dollars for a one dollar item he wants but a woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item she doesn't want? (Contributed by Jim Poserina)
    14. If we shop with double coupons are we expected to eat twice as much at dinner that night? (Contributed by Mark Bott)
    15. When you're standing in line at the supermarket why is it that someone will always run their cart into the back of your ankle? (Contributed by Asa)
    16. When women are shopping for clothes why do they always hold up ugly dresses and say the same thing 'This looks much better on'? On what? On Fire? (Contributed by Rita R.)
    17. When we want to buy some groceries we mark it down on our list and when grocery stores want to sell a product fast they mark it down as well. So how come after all these mark downs our grocery bills are still so high? (Contributed by Don F.)
    18. Why are supermarket shopping aisles so narrow that when two ladies stop and talk no one moves? And why is it that the length of their conversation is directly proportionate to the rush you're in? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    19. Why do cashiers insist on giving you your change back in the most inconvenient manner possible? Why can't they give you the coins first and then the paper money? (Contributed by C.M. Lowell)
    20. Why is it that the candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the supermarket is always hidden at the bottom of one of the grocery bags? (Contributed by Don F.)
    21. Why is it that when you're walking in a store there is always someone behind you walking faster who cuts in front of you then slows down or stops and you can't pass them because of people on the other side of the aisle? (Contributed by Emma Wilkinson)
    22. What happens if you go into a general store and ask for something specific? (Contributed by Donna M.)
    23. They say we're not suppose to put all of our eggs in one basket, right? So how come we never see people rolling twelve shopping carts out of the grocery store? (Contributed by Erin Page)
    24. How come when you don't know what you want, you end up wanting a lot more than you need? (Contributed by Floyd Maxwell)
    25. Why do shoppers always return their shopping carts to the handicapped parking slots? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    26. Why do stores use the express checkout counters for on-the-job training of cashiers? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    27. In movies, why are groceries always put into big brown paper bags? Do grocery stores even use big brown paper bags anymore? If not, then why do they use them in movies? (Contributed by Bekah)
    28. At grocery stores, why do we ask someone if they have a clue where the barbeque sauce is? Just why would you ASK for a clue? Don't we want to know where it is located NOW instead of asking for a clue and ending up finding it 2 hours later? (Contributed by Valerie)
    29. How come you always seem to pick up the items at grocery stores that will not scan at the checkout? (Contributed by Hemail)
    30. Is the task of buying groceries and putting them in your buggy called shopping a-la-cart? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    31. When we need to go grocery shopping, why do we make lists since we always seem to leave them at home? (Contributed by Valerie)
    32. How come you always forget what you need the minute you step inside the store, but after you are leaving the store, you remember? (Contributed by Valerie)
    33. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its alright'? It isn't alright, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'? (Contributed by Janis G.)
    34. Are there any men who just love to shop? (Contributed by Valerie)
    35. Why is it that you go shopping for a specific item, but then you come back with everything but the item you went shopping for? (Contributed by Laura Cox)
    36. How come everyone has a SUPERmarket? Have you ever heard of Joe's Plain Old Market? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    37. How come grocery stores don't have choices in flour that include with or without weevils? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    38. Why is it that as soon as you make a major purchase, it goes on special all over town? (Contributed by Jill Davis, Magnetic Island, Australia)
    39. Is it possible to buy a half gallon of 2 percent milk at one of those Whole Foods markets? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    40. Why are supermarkets called supermarkets? Its not like they fly around and save the day, is it? (Contributed by Martie)
    41. How come the odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one? (Contributed by Erma Bombeck)
    42. Canít you tell an awful lot about a person's character by where they leave their shopping cart in the grocery parking lot? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    43. How come a careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year? (Contributed by W.W.)
    44. Why do women love to shop? (Contributed by A.B.)
    45. When they ask you, ďPaper or plastic?Ē at the grocery store, is it because baggers canít be choosers? Or do they want to know how you are going to pay? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    46. Does anyone remember when it took two hands to carry $50 worth of groceries? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    47. Do the homeless have all the shopping carts with the functional wheels? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    48. Was the person who invented the Express Lane at the grocery store properly thanked? (Contributed by June M.)
    49. Given its cost at the supermarket, is it time to start crying over spilled milk? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    50. Why don't shopping carts come with horns? (Contributed by Sammie)
    51. Why do supermarkets unpack everything to the shelves and then have to pack everything back in bags? Isnít there a more efficient way? (Contributed by Douglas Karr)
    52. How come I always get in the wrong line at the checkout counter? (Contributed by Henry G.)
    53. Why is it that people will spend three hours walking the aisles of a department store but whine about spending 4 minutes in line to check out because suddenly they're in a hurry? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    54. Why do most people try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand rather than take 2 trips to bring their groceries in? (Contributed by Michael)
    55. Why will people pay top prices at privately owned companies for something they can get at a reasonable price at used shops that support charities? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    56. Why does everyone want to pay high prices for something just because everyone else does? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    57. When a grocery store has a section for "Natural Foods" does that mean that the rest of the food items in that store are unnatural? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    58. If some foods are organic, are the rest of the foods inorganic? (Contributed by Ralphie)
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Send to Don Fowler
dcfowler@interbaun.com

Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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