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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Household

Topic: Lawn-Yard

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    1. Why is it that when ever you are using an electric lawnmower the extension cord you are using is never long enough to get that last little bit? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why does grass smell only when you mow it? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Can picket fences go on strike? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. How do they get the "Do not walk on grass" signs way out in the middle of the grass? (Contributed by Brandon L. Martin)
    5. Why go to all the trouble of building a hidden driveway when the highway department puts up a "Hidden Drive" sign? (Contributed by James Terris)
    6. Why do lawn mower tractors have head lights? (Contributed by Dale)
    7. Why do we spend a fortune making our homes insect-proof and air-conditioned and then eat out on the patio? (Contributed by Al B.)
    8. Who puts the 'Keep Off The Grass' signs on the grass? (Contributed by Lindsey)
    9. Why does the grass that grows along the edge of the Boulevard the same grass that gets covered in noxious fumes and only mowed twice a year look better than the grass in your backyard the same grass you painstakingly labour over fertilize and religiously water? (Contributed by Cathy Grubman Quirks Newspaper)
    10. Why do people put up a sign that reads 'This gate must be kept shut'? Why didn't they just build a fence? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    11. Why is backyard commonly written as one word while front yard and side yard are usually presented as two words? (Contributed by W.J. Newhart)
    12. Why does every tree seem to have one stubborn leaf that won't let go? (Contributed by Gregory Lam)
    13. Why do people water their lawns after a rainstorm? (Contributed by Gregory Lam)
    14. With respect to Dutch Elm Disease does anybody know if it's the elms or the disease that's Dutch? (Contributed by F41305)
    15. Why are there blades of grass if we're the ones who have to cut the darn stuff so often? (Contributed by Pat Walter's Students)
    16. How come hedge trimmers don't come with a warning about the dangers of wearing camouflage pants? (Contributed by Eric Stumpy)
    17. How come when you have the trash at the curb at 6 AM they pick it up at noon but if you're running late they picked it up at 5 AM? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    18. Why do they call it a 'garage sale' if the garage is not for sale? (Contributed by Terry Galan)
    19. Why do people put so much time effort and money to make the grass in their yard grow nice and lush only to mow it down? (Contributed by vm)
    20. If you buy a spring rake can you use it in the fall? (Contributed by Stan Zielinski)
    21. Why is it that YARD + LAWN = YAWN, yet LAWN + YARD = LARD? (Contributed by Steffy-Head)
    22. How come oak trees lose their leaves in the fall but pine trees don't? (Contributed by Mandi and Rachel)
    23. How come the same clutter that will fill a one car garage will fill a two car garage? (Contributed by dcoble)
    24. How come when you fill a lawn mower with gas, it always overflows? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    25. If they're called leaves, why can't we just leave them where they fall? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    26. What if light fixtures are really insect burial grounds? And they aren't congregating, but mourning? (Contributed by The Duke of Endor)
    27. Is there any better feeling in the world than having your power mower start on the first pull? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    28. Are falling leaves just tree poop? (Contributed by Lloyd Orville Walter Jr.)
    29. If you can plant a tree, why can't you tree a plant? (Contributed by Solo)
    30. Why is it that the wind doesn't start blowing until you go out to pick up the leaves? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    31. Why is it that when you don't have the trash cans at the curb first thing in the morning on trash pickup day, the trucks will be early? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    32. If you can test drive cars at the dealer's, why not test-drive lawnmowers around at a hardware store? (Contributed by Jordon)
    33. Why is it that my lawn can grow almost half way across the sidewalk in one season, yet the 6" bare spot in my lawn has been there for three years? (Contributed by Mladen)
    34. Why do we call them yards when they're so much bigger than that? (Contributed by Sammie)
    35. Why is it okay for lawn people to blow grass, leaves and trash onto other peopleís property? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    36. Why does grass grow where you do not want it and not grow where you do? (Contributed by JC)
    37. If very dark clouds are coming your way then isnít that a good reason to postpone mowing your lawn again? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    38. Do you think that trees are weird? Arenít they just giant sticks that grow out of the ground? (Contributed by Kiera)
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