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Last Updated on 15-Nov-2017
Category: Health

Topic: Illness

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    1. Why are hemroids called "hemroids" instead of "astroids"?? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Is diarrhea considered hereditary since it runs in your genes? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide'n'seek does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. If you admit to yourself that you're going through denial are you cured? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is it considered a hostage situation? (Contributed by Don F.)
    6. Why is it that whenever we see someone who has just had an accident and is bleeding a lot we ask them Are you hurt? (Contributed by Don F.)
    7. Why when you throw up does it go everywhere but in the toilet? (Contributed by Don F.)
    8. Why do we itch? (Contributed by Don F.)
    9. Why is it called a "hysterectomy" and not a herstectomy? (Contributed by Vickie Porter)
    10. Why do men get hiccups more often than women? (Contributed by Alice Yucht)
    11. Why is it that whenever you've got a virus and you're going to be sick a lot you always throw up first at two in the morning? (Contributed by Lzrdbrth98)
    12. When someone is tired of something why do they always say they are sick and tired? Why can't they just be sick or just be tired? (Contributed by Benderu)
    13. When someone is ill why do people say 'He went to bed with his head'? Where else was his head meant to go? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    14. Would people be in beter health if they didn't get sick so much? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    15. Why can we still not cure the common cold? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    16. Should you tell a hypochondriac he looks terrible just to make him feel better? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    17. If we can sniff and snuff why can't we ever catch the snuffles? (Contributed by W.J. Newhart)
    18. Why doesn't a cough get better by practising it? (Contributed by Theodor Nickel)
    19. If you only use artificial sweetners does that mean you run the risk of getting artificial diabetes? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    20. Why doesn't vomit taste good? It did to start with didn't it? (Contributed by Shane Thompson)
    21. Since there are over 200 different viruses that cause the common cold is it possible to catch several colds at the same time? And if you did would they battle each other until your cold was gone? (Contributed by The Last Word)
    22. If a really stupid person becomes senile how can you tell? (Contributed by Jan and Matt)
    23. Why is it that sick children recover miraculously when the doctor enters the treatment room? (Contributed by LynnLynn)
    24. Why is it that when someone vomits we say that they 'threw up'? If anything they threw out didn't they? If they threw up wouldn't they have to get out of the way? (Contributed by Vito)
    25. When a child is sick why do they NEVER throw up in the bathroom? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    26. If God sneezes... what should you say? (Contributed by Don F.)
    27. Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? (Contributed by Lily Tomlin)
    28. Isn't the good thing about Alzheimer's is that you get to meet new people everyday? (Contributed by Kay)
    29. How can you get SEA-sick on a lake? (Contributed by Charlene)
    30. How can you 'catch' a cold? (Contributed by Sarah Doull)
    31. Why do prescription weight loss medications say that they are not for people with anorexia? If you have anorexia, why would the doctor prescribe the pills? (Contributed by Sarah D.)
    32. If the word 'sniffles' were replaced with the medical term 'nasal leakage', wouldn't people be a whole lot more serious about finding a cure for the common cold? (Contributed by Craig Goralski)
    33. Don't you just hate getting the flu just after you used precious sick days pretending you had the flu? (Contributed by J. Wagner)
    34. Why do people say 'sea-sick' but not 'road-sick' instead of 'car-sick'? (Contributed by Rolland J.)
    35. Why is it that people wait until the sixth day of having a terrible cold to call their doctor? And why does it always happen to fall on a Saturday night? (Contributed by Juneisy)
    36. What do you call a person that has every illness BUT hypocondria? (Contributed by pallasathene)
    37. Why do hypochondriacs think they have everything but hypochondria? (Contributed by Ossie Michelin)
    38. Why is it so hard to get rid of hiccups? (Contributed by A.L.)
    39. Why do people say 'get well soon'? Shouldn't they say, 'get well now'? Do they want people to stay sick for a little while longer? (Contributed by Tangel)
    40. Why is it when we are sick and miss a day of school or work, we brag to our peers about how sick we were and go into details of our illness when we come back? Do our peers really want to hear this? (Contributed by Valerie)
    41. Why is it that when you need a break, you wish you were sick and could stay home, but when you really are sick, you wish you were at work? (Contributed by Valerie)
    42. When you have a fever are you considered a 'hothead'? (Contributed by Valerie)
    43. How can doctors tell if someone has hypochondria just by listening to what the patient says? Are there certain key words that automatically tell them that they are faking it? (Contributed by Valerie)
    44. If eating raw meat makes you sick, then why haven't we heard of people getting sick from eating sushi? (Contributed by Valerie)
    45. Since identical twins have the same genetic code, do they get sick at the same time? (Contributed by Valerie)
    46. Just why does the flu wait until you are on holidays to strike? (Contributed by Ossie Michelin)
    47. When someone is ill, why do we say that they are feeling 'under the weather'? (Contributed by Valerie)
    48. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it? (Contributed by Nancy)
    49. Why is it that when you are really sick and you have to go to the doctor for medicine, you instantly get completely better when you show up and the doctor doesn't find anything wrong with you? Then right after you get in the car, you automatically get worse than you were before? Why do they do this? Are viruses that smart? Why should we let them have all the fun? They did make us sick, didn't they? (Contributed by Sierra)
    50. Why are there so many female senior citizens that have osteoporosis? Is it because they stepped on too many cracks? (Contributed by Janis G.)
    51. Does the Queen ever throw up? (Contributed by Janis G.)
    52. Has anyone ever been allergic to water? If so, what happened to them? (Contributed by Evenstar)
    53. Why do they call it 'morning sickness' in the middle of the afternoon? (Contributed by T.M.)
    54. If dinosaurs had sores, what would they be called? (Contributed by T.M.)
    55. Why do we 'take sick' but not 'take well'? (Contributed by Z)
    56. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured, would they remember that they forgot? (Contributed by C.T.)
    57. If you're a patient in a hospital and you feel like you're about to throw up, why do they give you such a little pan to collect your vomit? (Contributed by Don F.)
    58. Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? (Contributed by C.T.)
    59. If 9 out of 10 people suffer with hemorrhoids does that mean the tenth enjoys them? (Contributed by Julie)
    60. Why is it that people who cough incessantly, never seem to go to the doctor? Any why do they always seem to go to banquets, concerts, and churches? (Contributed by W.W.)
    61. Why do you always get sick at the most inconvenient time of the year? (Contributed by Valerie)
    62. If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness? (Contributed by C.T.)
    63. Would a hypochondriac's headstone epitaph read "See"? (Contributed by Steve)
    64. Can you demand refunds from doctors who misdiagnose your illnesses? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    65. Why is it that when our body runs hot we call it a cold? (Contributed by Pete J.)
    66. If we are all just "dust in the wind", does that mean we could be allergic to ourselves? (Contributed by Jess)
    67. Why is it that men who can go through severe accidents, air raids, and any other major crisis always seems to think that they are at death's door when they have a simple head cold? (Contributed by Shirley)
    68. Would the only thing worse than having a cold ruin the weekend be feeling better in time to go back to work on Monday? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
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