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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Health

Topic: Diet

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    1. When people lose weight where does it go? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. If you ate your own foot would you lose weight? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why do people who eat natural foods die from natural causes? (Contributed by Allen K.)
    4. Why does food that tastes the best have the highest number of calories? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    5. Why is it that the best balanced diet is a burger in each hand? (Contributed by Neil Enns)
    6. Is there such a thing as fat-free fat? (Contributed by Mike)
    7. Is the reason we get heavier as we get older because there is a lot more information in our heads? (Contributed by Vlade Divac)
    8. If models are the ideal look why do so few people look like them? Who decided what was the ideal? And what size jeans did THEY wear? If everyone was the ideal would things ever come to an end? After all there'd be no fat lady to sing right? (Contributed by Fheyd)
    9. Why is it that someone will order two quarter pound burgers and an extra large french fries but will still insist on getting a Diet Coke? (Contributed by Lschultz)
    10. Do people who live dangerously worry about cholesterol? (Contributed by W.J. Newhart)
    11. If everyone on Earth lost weight at the same time would the Earth change it's orbit? (Contributed by Jim Adams)
    12. Isn't resisting temptation usually just a matter of putting it off until no one is looking? (Contributed by A. Black)
    13. Is it an accident that stressed spelled backward is desserts? (Contributed by Karen Ranney)
    14. Why is it every time I lose weight it finds me again? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    15. Isn't the best diet the 'pasta' diet? Just walk pasta bakery. Walk pasta ice cream shoppe. Walk pasta candy store. (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    16. Why is it that when people go on a diet the first thing they lose is their patience? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    17. Sometimes doesn't it seem that the light of your life comes from the bulb in your refrigerator? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    18. Is your low-fat diet working if every day your fat hangs lower? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    19. Why are the first three letters of diet DIE? No wonder we think diets kill us. (Contributed by Bill Stebbins)
    20. Is diet just die with a 't' to describe it? (Contributed by Alex Cooke)
    21. Wouldn't the most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet be to let the cow eat it and then eat the cow? (Contributed by Steve B.)
    22. Why do magazines spend so much time nagging you about what you should eat and how much you should weigh then in the same issue have the latest chocolate fudge cake recipe? Isn't that sending a mixed signal? (Contributed by T.M.)
    23. Why does a diet support group hold meetings over the ice cream shop? (Contributed by John Lucas)
    24. Can Alfredo sauce really be turned into a Healthy Choice? (Contributed by John Lucas)
    25. Why are people blessed with fat storing/survivalist genes cursed to know that when THE FAMINE actually happens and they do get down to that size 8 no one will be left to notice? (Contributed by John Lucas)
    26. Why is it that some people seem to go through life looking as if their contents settled during shipping? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    27. Does it really make sense that we spend half our money buying food and the other half trying to lose weight? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    28. It's not the minutes one spends at the table that makes one fat, it’s the seconds, isn't it? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    29. Isn't it true that the abbreviation for pounds is 'lbs' and that it stands for 'lunch', 'breakfast' and 'supper'? (Contributed by Ossie Michelin)
    30. If you weighed 200 pounds and then went on a crash diet and lost 100 pounds but retained the same muscles, would you be considered stronger? (Contributed by Kate and Coral)
    31. If fats and sweets are so bad for your health, why are they at the top of the food pyramid? (Contributed by Sean McGovern)
    32. Shouldn't you always only weigh yourself on those days where everything else has already gone wrong? Afterall, the day's ruined anyway, right? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)
    33. Sometimes, don't you just feel like eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery? (Contributed by Jeff)
    34. Is a diet a weigh of life? (Contributed by Aiken Drum)
    35. Don't we all do diets very religiously? Don't we eat what we want and pray we don't gain weight? (Contributed by Chucklehead)
    36. Is the reason why we all have problems curbing our appetites the fact that most of us do it at the drive-in window of McDonalds? (Contributed by Chucklehead)
    37. Isn't the most fattening thing you can put in an ice cream sundae, a spoon? (Contributed by Chucklehead)
    38. Don't you agree that the toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat? It's watching what other people eat, isn't it? (Contributed by Chucklehead)
    39. Rather than dieting, wouldn't you look thinner if you fattened up everyone else around you? (Contributed by MailBits.com)
    40. Have you seen those hand made signs on poster board that read 'Great Stuff. My husband lost 32 pounds in 27 days. Call 555-1212 for some.'? Why would anybody do that? I don't really want any of his 32 pounds, do you? (Contributed by Jim the hornet)
    41. How much Healthy Choice ice cream can you eat before it's no longer a healthy choice? (Contributed by Rodney & Cathy's Joke List)
    42. Did you know that it takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with? (Contributed by Floyd Maxwell)
    43. Isn't dieting just wishful shrinking? (Contributed by Herman)
    44. Isn't a diet just a selection of food that makes other people lose weight? (Contributed by Herman)
    45. Didn't you know that you can't lose weight by talking about it? You have to keep your mouth shut, don't you? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    46. Why do the weigh scales in doctor's offices always read more than your home scale? (Contributed by Thomas Rowe)
    47. When you're on a diet, do postage stamps taste good? (Contributed by UGA)
    48. If you drink Slim Fast while eating a doughnut, will you still lose weight? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    49. Why is it that the pizza parlor nearest a Weight Watchers place is always crowded after every Weight Watchers meeting? (Contributed by Jim)
    50. Just how are we supposed to get well rounded nourishment if we stick to three SQUARE meals a day? (Contributed by Don F.)
    51. Does taste make waist? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    52. If you eat your way through stress, will that put all your problems behind you? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    53. Are sweets the destiny that shapes our ends? (Contributed by Coop)
    54. Isn't a diet something that you have to go to some length to change your width? (Contributed by Coop)
    55. Doesn't the body mass index formula prove that researchers have way too much time on their hands? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    56. How come my wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran? (Contributed by Roberta)
    57. Have you ever wondered why the same candy bar that rots a child's teeth is a wonderful source of quick energy for adults? (Contributed by HaLife.com)
    58. Why do the nutrition charts always list dried beans as having iron, but not fresh beans? How does the iron get in the dried beans if it is not in the fresh beans to start with? (Contributed by Nancy)
    59. Since the first three letters in 'diet' spell die and the fourth letter looks like a cross, does that mean that we must die while being crucified in order to lose weight? (Contributed by John and Millie)
    60. If you go on two diets at the same time, can you eat twice as much and lose twice as much at the same time? (Contributed by Bruce W. Miller)
    61. If brain cells come and brain cells go, why do fat cells live forever? (Contributed by Garry)
    62. If you're on a salt free diet and you have to stay in a hospital, do they still give you a saline solution drip? (Contributed by Don F.)
    63. With the rise of obesity, does a ‘Huge Family Yard Sale’ take on a new meaning? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    64. If people weren't meant to have midnight snacks, then why do they put a light in the refrigerator? (Contributed by Alice)
    65. If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just for chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it? (Contributed by C.T.)
    66. Isn’t the most-hated four-letter word in the English language, D-I-E-T? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    67. If you are appalled over how much weight you have gained, would you be flabbergasted? (Contributed by Washington Post Style Invitational)
    68. How come Pac-Man never gained any weight? (Contributed by Pete J.)
    69. Whose weight are we over when we're overweight? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    70. Why do we call it cellulite when it makes you heavy? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    71. Why do we want to look like people who don't eat? (Contributed by J.S.)
    72. If God is within me, is it safe for me to lose weight? (Contributed by J.S.)
    73. Why do we say "eats like a bird" when a bird eats its own weight in food every day? (Contributed by June M.)
    74. Can't only 50% of the population be overweight? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    75. Where are all the overweight mannequins? (Contributed by Ralphie)
    76. If a fat man falls in the forest, do the trees laugh? (Contributed by Mortakye)
    77. Doesn’t everyone who diets gain in the end? (Contributed by Sam)
    78. Are you overweight if you live beyond your seams? (Contributed by Sam)
    79. Do you think that maybe you are not overweight, just undertall? (Contributed by Sam)
    80. If you eat every time you see food, can you say that you are on a seafood diet? (Contributed by Sam)
    81. Is not having to diet a state of dinner freedom? (Contributed by Pablo F.)
    82. How come we rarely repent of having eaten too little? (Contributed by Don F.)
    83. If you lick too many stamps will you gain weight? (Contributed by Robbie C.)
    84. When you're asleep and dreaming about performing calorie-burning activities such as running, jumping and flying, do you burn more calories in reality as opposed to when you're dreaming about doing something low-impact? (Contributed by Rebecca)
    85. How come we never want ice cream until we start on a diet? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
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