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Last Updated on 15-Nov-2017
Category: Events

Topic: Vacations

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    1. When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Why do people ask how long you are going to be gone on vacation? Won't you be gone the whole time? (Contributed by Don F.)
    3. Why is it that a highway map never folds back the same way? (Contributed by Don F.)
    4. Why is it that even if you pack your car the night before if you plan on getting an early start on the first day of your vacation you always have so many little things to pick up that you never get away until about noon? (Contributed by Don F.)
    5. When traveling with children on one's holidays why does at least one child of any number of children request a rest room stop exactly halfway between any two given rest areas? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    6. Why is it that when you arrive at your chosen campsite it is full? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    7. Why is it that no matter how many rooms there are in the motel the fellow who starts up his car at five o'clock in the morning is always parked under your window? (Contributed by Don Woods)
    8. When going on a seven day trip why does a man pack five days worth of clothes because he will wear some things twice but a woman will pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day? (Contributed by Kouly)
    9. Why is it that when you want a nice souvenir you find a great shell in a gift shop but some yo-yo has affixed a ten-cent thermometer to it? (Contributed by Erma Bombeck)
    10. Does a tourist information centre tell you about the tourists that have visited? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    11. Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    12. Could you ask the direction to the nearest tourist information centre from a tourist information centre? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    13. Why do heat-waves always start the day you go abroad for your holiday? (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    14. When travelling on a family trip in your car why can't everyone ever agree on what to listen to on the radio? (Contributed by ShadowStalker)
    15. Why is the man ALWAYS in charge of poking the campfire with a stick and/or tending the grill? (Contributed by C.C.)
    16. Is vacation something you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer? (Contributed by Dean M.)
    17. When describing our cottage to friends why do we always say that the lake comes right up to the shore? (Contributed by Jason Q)
    18. Why do we sometimes say "Nobody goes there anymore because its too crowded"? How can that be? (Contributed by Yogi)
    19. Why is it that we all go on vacations to forget things and when we finally open our suitcases we realize that's just exactly what we've done? (Contributed by A. Black)
    20. Did the early settlers ever go on camping trips? (Contributed by oalami)
    21. Why do people say they don't go anywhere? Don't we all take an annual trip around the sun? (Contributed by Letitia Yao)
    22. When you get a paid vacation from work shouldn't it include airfare hotel etc.? Otherwise it wouldn't be a paid vacation right? (Contributed by Cheri Kingston)
    23. Why is a two-man pup tent not big enough for two men or a pup? (Contributed by Kitty)
    24. Why is it that when we need directions we always seem to find someone who is from out of town? (Contributed by L. Hearn)
    25. When travelling do people who give the wrong directions think they are giving the right directions? Or do they really know that they don't know and give directions anyway? And why do they always seem to congregate at convenience stores? (Contributed by L. Hearn)
    26. Why do air mattresses always drift out to sea even with the tide coming in? (Contributed by Don F.)
    27. Why is there never any lineups at the washrooms at a waterpark? (Contributed by Dave Broadfoot)
    28. Can waves at the beach make a 'wave' the other way? (Contributed by Phantom1213)
    29. It's good to travel because they say it broadens you, but so does sitting at home on the sofa, doesn't it? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    30. If a travel agency displays a sign that reads 'Please Go Away', would they get any business? (Contributed by Nancy Carson)
    31. If you want to be safe on the streets at night, wouldn't all you have to do be to carry a projector and slides from your last vacation? (Contributed by Funny Bone)
    32. Has anyone noticed that the only reason some people take trips is to get good gas mileage? (Contributed by HaLife.com)
    33. Sure getting there is half the fun but doesn't it always take three-fourths of the vacation budget? (Contributed by Rodney & Cathy's Joke List)
    34. How come when you're safe at home you wish you were having an adventure, but when you're having an adventure, you wish you were safe at home? (Contributed by Thornton Wilder)
    35. Why do people travel thousands of miles on vacation and have their picture taken standing by their car? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    36. Why is it that people spend millions upon millions of dollars to go to beautiful resort towns for a vacation but their own hometown looks like a dump? Wouldn't it be cheaper to turn their own town into the same ones they travel to? (Contributed by Rocknrye)
    37. Why does the sun finally shine on your last day at the beach? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    38. If it takes one careless match to start a forest fire, then how is it that it takes a whole box to start one campfire? (Contributed by Diana F.)
    39. When planning your summer vacation, how come the shortest distance between two points is probably under construction? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    40. Why do people that have a house pay to sleep in a bush when people that sleep in a bush wish they could pay for a house? (Contributed by Kevin H.)
    41. If we go on vacation to relax, why do we wear ourselves out on it? (Contributed by Zagros)
    42. How come the most important information on any map is on the fold? (Contributed by Don F.)
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