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Last Updated on 06-Jan-2016
Category: Events

Topic: Christmas

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    1. What does Santa do at a house with no chimney? (Contributed by Don F.)
    2. Where does Santa hide his claws? (Contributed by Mark Demucha)
    3. What do parents in the Western States tell their children about Santa Claus? After all there's no snow in most places and it's too warm for that red suit. (Contributed by Alex Petty)
    4. On artificial Christmas Trees why do they always make the centre trunk green? Wouldn't it be more realistic if it was brown? (Contributed by Ryoga)
    5. Does Santa worry about his fat intake over Christmas like everyone else? (Contributed by Tinman)
    6. Should we mail our packages early so the post office can lose them in time for next Christmas? (Contributed by J. Carson)
    7. Why does the Christmas season always come when the stores are at their busiest? (Contributed by Jim Poserina)
    8. Is it true that winter's not really over until you can't vacuum up any more Christmas tree needles from your carpet? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    9. How does Santa's huge body fit through those itsy-bitsy chimneys? (Contributed by Angela Trana)
    10. How does Santa get down the chimney when the fire is going? (Contributed by Angela Trana)
    11. Did Hallmark invent the Christmas Card? (Contributed by MailBits.com)
    12. Why is it that your Christmas lights work just fine when you test them before you string them up but they quit the moment you step back to admire your work? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    13. Are Santa's Elves the same Elves who are the Keebler Elves? And after making toys moonlight by baking cookies and crackers? (Contributed by Paula Pence)
    14. What exactly are 'reindeer games' anyway? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    15. When Santa Claus goes home does he enter his house through the chimney or the door? (Contributed by Bob Oneschuk)
    16. Why is it that red and green look festive at Christmas but terribly mismatched the rest of the year? (Contributed by Laurel)
    17. Why don't department stores hire men to gift wrap? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    18. There is a church in Ontario Canada that is the third church on its site because the first two burned down. With that in mind should they really be giving everyone candles during the Christmas Eve services? (Contributed by Laurel)
    19. Why do people always ask you what you want for Christmas and then get you some piece of junk you wouldn't want in a million years? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    20. Do you think Santa Claus has the right idea? You know, only visiting people once a year? (Contributed by Victor Borge)
    21. If Santa Claus had a father, do you think there must have been a Grandfather Clause? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    22. Would you call Santa's helpers, Subordinate Clauses? (Contributed by Pat Walter)
    23. Why does Santa only work one night a year? (Contributed by strage.com)
    24. Who brings Santa his Christmas gifts? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    25. How come they put Christmas right in the middle of flu season? Is it some kind of business conspiracy to cut down on sick days? (Contributed by Louis Johnson)
    26. Why are the wires on electric icicle christmas lights, crooked? Don't icicles form in a straight line? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    27. What inspired that first person to cut down a tree, bring it inside their house, fuss with it until it was standing up straight, hang some beads off of it, and then call it a Christmas tree? (Contributed by Sarah D.)
    28. How come when department stores put their Christmas decorations out in July, they have 'elegant foresight', but when I leave my Christmas lights up until April, my neighbours just think I'm tacky? (Contributed by Alisa Meadows)
    29. If in Australia, Christmas (December 25th) is in the summer, then do they still have snowmen and Christmas trees with snow on Christmas cards? (Contributed by Tweety)
    30. If Good King Wenceslas ordered a pizza, would it be deep pan, crisp and even? (Contributed by Terry Galan)
    31. Does Santa get paid? (Contributed by LBMC)
    32. Why is it that parents always end up getting their children presents after they've told their kids that they wouldn't get any if they were bad? (Contributed by Jonathan)
    33. Is it the magic of Christmas that always makes your money disappear at this time of the year? (Contributed by T.O.P.)
    34. Are we sure the Jolly Green Giant and Santa aren't the same guy in a different suit? All either of them say is 'ho, ho, ho' isn't it? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    35. Why is it that the ugliest Christmas decorations always go up first and come down last? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    36. If Santa has a weight problem, why do we leave him milk and cookies? Shouldn't we leave him a salad and water? (Contributed by Steve)
    37. What kind of car does Santa drive during the off season? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    38. Where does Santa get his food? He can't grow it in the snow, and it's not like he can go and get it himself cuz then people would see him, right? Does he have a greenhouse? (Contributed by Tangel)
    39. In the Christmas song 'Let It Snow', if the weather is so frightful then why do they want it to continue snowing? (Contributed by Valerie)
    40. Why is Rudolph's nose so red? (Contributed by Don F.)
    41. Why do we wrap Christmas presents so beautifully only to have others rip off the paper? (Contributed by Valerie)
    42. Isn't it a worry that Santa is an anagram of Satan? (Contributed by BA)
    43. Why is it that kids with rich parents get more presents than kids with poorer ones, when they've all been equally good? (Contributed by Matt)
    44. How come all the standard Christmas songs you hear on the radio are sung by dead people? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    45. How come there isn't a 'Trading Spaces' TV show for Christmas yard decorations? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    46. Do you think Santa Claus believes in himself? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    47. If a wise woman had come to the Nativity, she would have brought diapers, wouldn't she? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    48. Why is it that all the trouble always happens close to Christmas? I mean, we have all year long to get into some kind of difficulties, right? So why does it seem that the most hardships always happen right before the Christmas Holidays? (Contributed by Lady S.)
    49. If it's true that Santa is magical then why does Christmas Eve take so long? (Contributed by Samantha U.)
    50. If it had been Three Wise Women, instead of Three Wise Men, they would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts, wouldn't they? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    51. When someone says to you, "If I don't see you by then, have a nice Christmas". Does that also mean if they DO see you by then, you should have a lousy Christmas? (Contributed by Mike Gray)
    52. Why does Santa always speak in third person? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
    53. Why do we have a merry Christmas and a happy new year? Why not a happy Christmas and a merry new year? (Contributed by Zell Faze)
    54. Do you suppose that on the day before Christmas, Adam said “It's Christmas, Eve”? (Contributed by Holly)
    55. How come when you retrieve all the boxes of Christmas decorations to start decorating your house, there’s always one box that goes missing? Any why is that the box with your favorite decorations in it? (Contributed by Pat F.)
    56. Why is it that with only 10 Christmas songs, radio stations need to start playing them months before Christmas? (Contributed by Peter)
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Send to Don Fowler
dcfowler@interbaun.com

Sherwood Park, Alberta, Canada
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